just imagine how good life would be if pizza made u have a flat stomach
Funny girls don’t get boyfriends. Funny girls get boys as friends who want to date your boring pretty friends but also have you around to make them laugh.
next time you’re washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and say ‘this water is getting out of hand’ it’s a guaranteed way to make friends i have never tried it but it is guaranteed
some people’s voices are just very appealing. you can’t explain it. there is no way to describe it. it’s just like. how. why. why does your voice do things to me. why does it make me feel things. why. how. why
sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star
can i politely murder you